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Christmas Crush

This song is by Home Grown and appears on the compilation Rodney On The ROQ's Christmas (1997) and on the compilation Sleighed: The Other Side of Christmas (2000).

Had a crush on santa
Since I was 9 years old
But oh, Santa
Why do you go?

Once a year, you come visit me
Eat my cookies, leave presents, the same old routine
But now, Santa
I want something more
No presents all that this girl's asking for

Santa sleep with me tonight

I read these words in her diary
An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy
I shouldn't have, but I'm glad I did

Wonder what does she see in him
A big old tub of jelly with a double chin
He's older than my grandmother

Indeed this fetish is really bizarre
Sexual attraction for this holiday star
I got a plan that you wouldn't believe
But I've gotta act like it's Christmas Eve

Santa's suit is what I will get
And give my girlfriend a night that she'll never forget
And neither will I
Went through my closet and found a red robe
Made a beard out of cotton, stuffed my shirt with pillows
And drove to my girl's house

I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay
Saw santa and my girl in red lingere
And in between all the moans and groans
I heard her say
Oh Santa, Oh Santa

She said, Santa, I miss you, I love you
I wish you would stay home forever with me
Santa, I knew you were coming to town
But tonight you are coming in me

Santa, get off of my girlfriend
Get off of my girlfriend

Written by:

Adam Lohrbach

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