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​3 Legged Race

This song is by Holy Moly.

Well I woke up really early
On my anniversary
Wife told me to meet her
At the house for lunch around 3
Well I showed up real early
With flowers in my hand
Walked into the front door
There stood a one-legged man
And he told me that he loved my wife
And she was good in bed
Well I punched him in the mouth
And then I ran off with his leg
Bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart

I felt kinda bad
Stealing that fella's fake leg
Although that motherfucker
Fucked my wife in my own bed
Well I thought I'd return it
Then I'd head out for the bar
To my surprise
That man 'n' my wife
Stole my fuckin' car
So I moved out everything I could
Except that fuckin' bed
And laughed as I walked out the door
'Cause I still had his leg
Bitch 3 legged raced off
That bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart

I don't know if you knew him
But we used to be good friends
We'd go out late night talking
'Bout strange places we'd been
Little did I know
That fucker talked about my wife
That one legged fucker
One legged hopped
Hopped off with my wife
Bitch 3 legged raced off
That bitch 3 legged raced off
That bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart

Well every time that I'm feeling sad
I look up at that leg
Just knowing that he's wobbling
Makes me feel good instead
I smile when I think about him
Fucking in my bed
'Cause doggy style is impossible
When you only got one leg
Bitch 3 legged raced off
That bitch 3 legged raced off
That bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart