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Don't Cry For Neville

This song is by Hogwarts Trainwreck.

Don't cry for Neville 'cause his parents ain't dead
They're in a ward at Mungo's
And they're out of their heads
Tortured by a Death Eater till they went mad
Pretty near killed 'em, but it wasn't so bad
They lay around in bed and all they do is drool
But it ain't common knowledge
At the Hogwarts school

Neville's sort of clumsy and pretty much a dork
You could call him beefy, but he's more of a porker
Still he's all right for such a wide load
Ya gotta love a guy who packs around a toad
He lives with his grandma she keeps him well fed
But don't cry for Neville 'cause his parents ain't dead

So maybe he can't play ball with his dad
Mommy doesn't tuck him in - what a bummer, so sad
They call him Longbottom, and that would be the pits
But he's shaped in a way that makes the name fit

Before they went nuts, his parents were great
They hunted Death Eaters and that's how they met their fate
Now they're bedridden where they poop in their pants
And fertilize themselves like a couple of plants
That's why herbology is the place he gets his cred
So don't cry for Neville 'cause his parents aren't dead

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