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​Smoochy Smoochy Pukey Pukey

This song is by Harry And The Potters and appears on the album Harry and the Potters and the Power of Love (2006).

Hello, Ron
You don't look so good this morning
You've got something stuck on your face
It looks like it sucks
What could it be?
Is it a leech?
Is it the giant squid?
Because it's wrapped around pretty tight
Oh wait, it's a girl

Well I know your sister said
You have the experience of a twelve year old
But come on mate
Please don't act thirteen

I'm pretty sure Draco Malfoy is crying
'Cause you're grossing us out
With your tongue in her mouth
If you can kiss, kiss, kiss
And you'll be slip, slip, slipping
On the homogeneous mixture of your saliva
And our vomit

Well if you're doing this to make Hermione jealous
It's working
But the process
Good God, the process is just making us nauseous