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​To Russia With Care

This song is by Harold Weakley and appears on the compilation Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From the Golden Age of Homeland Security (2005).

Get in the box and shut your mouth,
I'm shippin' you far away
There's a book inside on Kodiak dances
And a Commie flag to wave
You say "we" when you mean "me",
So I reckon Red'll let you stay
Inside of a year you'll be Premier
'Cause you're seein' things their way

"To Russia with care" the address reads,
They're needin' propaganda like you
A talkin' machine a-spoutin' pretty dreams
That never, never do come true
I'm shippin' you by air to Russia with care,
You don't fit the USA
Gal, I've had it, now Moscow gets it,
You'll turn all the red hair gray

Now God bless the nails, I didn't bend over
And let me hear a little moan
I wanted you to know what a pain in the side
You've been in mine so long
Well you're a whiz, the best there is
At shakin' a workin' man down
Best comrade the Kremlin's had
Since the bald-headed bear was around

"To Russia with care" the address reads,
They're needin' propaganda like you
A talkin' machine a-spoutin' pretty dreams
That never, never do come true
I'm shippin' you by air to Russia with care,
You don't fit the USA
Gal, I've had it, now Moscow gets it,
Go turn all the red hair gray

Now here's your letter of recommendation
I'm sendin' to the Party there,
Give her a chance at your cold war
She can freeze a polar bear's hair.
I'm rightin' a mistake the Red storm made
In a blizzard up over Nome
He brought you here and you brought me tears
When Russia should have been your home

"To Russia with care" the address reads,
They're needin' propaganda like you
A talkin' machine a-spoutin' pretty dreams
That never, never do come true
I'm shippin' you by air to Russia with care,
You don't fit the USA
Gal, I've had it, now Moscow gets it,
Go turn all their red hair gray