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My Phone

This song is by Hank Green and appears on the album Ellen Hardcastle (2011).

I didn't think it was for real
Or it could be such a big deal
That this hunk of silicon could save my life

But now I've seen what it can do
And after all that we've been through
I had to write a song all about why

It can do anything
It can even help me sing
And, yes, it helped me find my soul mate

It can be a light saber
Or help me find out if my neighbor
Is a registered sex offender in my state

Been bitten by a vampire bat?
Well, there's an app for that
Been deployed into heavy combat?
Well, there's an app for that!
In a fight with Yasser Arafat?
Well there's an app for that

Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
My phone owns your phone
It makes my life complete
One thing you gotta understand
My phone it holds my hand and
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'Cause my phone does everything

If I put it in my pants
Suddenly, I can dance
And the ladies flock to me on the dance floor

And the one that I take home
Invariably loves my phone
Too bad there's not an app for birth control

Are you bored at the laundromat?
Well there's an app for that
Been feeling like you're getting fat?
Well there's an app for that
Forgetting when to feed your cat?
There's an app for that

Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
My phone owns your phone
It makes my life complete
One thing you gotta understand
My phone it holds my hand and
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'Cause my phone does everything

My finance application
Says I deserve a vacation
And it solved the economy in Greece

Stevie jobs knows what he's doin'
In my opinion he's a shoe-in
For this year's Nobel prize for peace

You learning how to knit a hat?
Well there's an app for that
Your wife just gave birth to a cat?
There's probably an app for that
You want to call your mom and chat?
Well, actually service is pretty spotty out here, so I'll
I'll just call her when I get into town...

Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
My phone owns your phone
It makes my life complete
One thing you gotta understand
My phone it holds my hand and
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'Cause my phone does everything

And yes, I mean everything

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