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It's Too Hot

This song is by Hank Green and appears on the album So Jokes (2008) and on the album I'm So Bad At This: Live! (2009).

My eyes snap open,
It's two o'clock.
I rip off my shirt,
My pants, my socks.
Something's wrong,
But I don't know what.

But then I start to realize,
There's sweat trickling
Down my thighs.
And a fire between
The mattress and my butt.

It's too hot,
It's too hot in here.
I'm gonna fall out of my chair
If I have another ice cold beer.
I forgot how much it sucks
To sweat in bed.
I don't wanna drink your iced tea,
I think I'll take a bath in it
It's too hot!

Laying on the floor
With my clothes off.
Silk boxer shorts
And a wash cloth
Are the only things I'll let
Touch my skin today.

Spraying myself with an
Upside down air can.
Making out with the window fan,
Hoping the mailman
Doesn't look in today.

It's too hot,
It's too hot in this town.
My will to live is melting
And that's what's got me down.
It's too hot
And my state is on fire.
I'm an endothermic organism
And that's why I perspire
When it's too hot.

The United Nations says
Eleven thousand
People die of hotness each year.
But the burning sun,
It wants eleven thousand and one
But it's not gonna get me ya hear!

Sweatin' in my basement,
All alone.
Watching Hotness Prevails
By thewinekone.
Sympathizing with
My favorite YouTube star.

How could anyone be
So deranged to not
Believe in climate change
When it's 102 in Montana
In the dark?

It's too hot
And I'm doing a funny dance
'Cause I went and got some ice cubes
And I put them in my pants!

It's too hot,
It's too hot in here!
I'm probably gonna pass out,
But please pass me my beer.
It's too hot!

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