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​Dating Game

This song is by Handsome Boy Modeling School and appears on the album White People (2004).

Talk show host:
And we're back. All right Becky, before our handsome bachelors reveal themselves
You have one last question to ask before you decide to go on that big date.

Becky:
OK. Handsome bachelor number one.
On our first date, where would you take me and how would you try to impress me?

Bachelor 1 (Jay-Z) :
So that's a that's a good question ma.
This is what I would do to impress you.
Well first of all, you know where I might take you?
I might take you over Dame's house.

Becky:
Oh, really?

Bachelor 1:
'Cause my girl's at the crib. And then what I would do is
I'd get you the finest drink, of course it's gonna have ice in it.
And I don't mean frozen water huh, ya know?!

Becky:
That's so sweet.

Bachelor 1:
And uh what else would I do to really
I'd take you to Rodeo Drive, of course. Of course.

Becky:
I love Rodeo.

Bachelor 1:
Ima take you to Rodeo and show you all the beautiful stores
And what you could have if your record goes number one like mine haha.
That's what I would do to pretty impressive ain't it?

Becky:
OK, sounds like fun.
Same question, handsome bachelor number two.

Bachelor 2 (U-God from Wu-tang?) :
Yo, to impwess you to take you out on a perfect womantic date,
My idea for that is to pick you up in a Wu mobile, bwought to you by Cwysler.

Becky:
A Wu mobile?

Bachelor 2:
You know, the cowabowation, that we just came wit.
And den, I take you upstate, to the amusement park, Wu-tang amusement parks.

Becky:
Ooh, I love parks!

Bachelor 2:
Word, we wide all kinda wollercoasters and fewwis wheels.

Becky:
Mm, that's my favorite!

Bachelor 2:
Eat all kinda cotton candy, popcorn and shit.
And den, to welax you, or you know, give you a beauty treatment,
I'll take you down to the Wu spa.
We got all the special manicuwists out there, you know, putting it down.

Becky:
Sounds good.

Bachelor 2:
And to end all the night, you know, maybe we'll have a womantic dinner.
Order out some Chinese food fwom Wu delivewy. We dewiwer 24 hours a day.
Word. Just call us on the tewephone, hit me, or
Or you could hit me on the 2-way, or Bwackbwewwy account.

Becky:
Wow! That maybe difficult to top!
What would you do handsome bachelor number three?

Bachelor 3 (Rev. Don Magic Juan? Don King? no clue) :
Yeah, listen. Can you repeat that question again please?

Becky:
Oh, ok. You want me to repeat the question?
OK, on our first date, where would you take me and how would you try to impress me?

Bachelor 3:
That is a very good question. Heh, you're very charming.

Becky:
Thank you!

Bachelor 3:
Well, on the first date with me is is very exciting.
I would, of course, take you wherever you wanted to go.
If the plans was up to me, I would take you to uh to NASA.

Becky:
Lovely!

Bachelor 3:
What we would do is we would take a trip up that elevator
And we would go and look at the stars, and I will pack us a picnic basket.

Becky:
Sweet

Bachelor 3:
And I would have us all kinds of alcohol beverages.
I would whip out that's right I would whip out a diamond necklace.
Put it around you sweet, skinny neck.
And touch you in places that no doctor has ever discovered on you before.

Becky:
Wow

Bachelor 3:
And then I would slowly caress your breasts
Work my way down to your sweet lovin' thighs, and then

Talk show host:
OK, time's up.
We'll find out your answer, Becky, after this commercial break