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​On Finding The Studio Banjo

This song is by Half Man Half Biscuit and appears on the album Saucy Haulage Ballads (2003).

Unemployment's rising in the Chigley end of town
It's spreading like pneumonia
Doesn't look like going down
There's trouble at the fire station someone's had the sack
And the lads are going to launch a scheme to get rid of Captain Flack

Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate
And arm themselves with CS gas
They're gonna be out late
We've had Can't conformism since 1966
And now subversion's in the air in the shape of flying bricks

Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they'd better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
'Cause there's going to be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

All this aristocracy has really got to stop
We can overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp
And Chippy Minton's Socialists could storm the Market Square
And make plans to assassinate our autocratic Mayor

Windy Militant leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war
With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door
But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew
Whereupon they bring about a military coup

Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they'd better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
'Cause there's going to be a riot down in Trumpton tonight