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​Civil Defense Spot: Excellent Chances

This song is by Groucho Marx and appears on the compilation Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From the Golden Age of Homeland Security (2005).

Spoken
This is Groucho Marx. A few days ago I was talking with the Director of Civil Defense
And he told me some things that I feel everyone should know. That's why I'm speaking to you now
Did you know, for example, that your chances of surviving an atom bomb attack are excellent?
It's true, but there's a big if! You must do everything possible now, to help yourself and your family
Nobody else will help you! Listen, because this is important! Keep a complete first aid kit handy
Keep a closed container of drinking water in your refrigerator, enough for 3 days
Be sure you have a good fire extinguisher
Take a look around your house right now and pick out the safest spot, away from windows and doors
Make sure every member of your family understands he is to rush to that safe spot when there's danger
I'm convinced that these precautions are necessary right now, and I hope I can convince you
They're important to your family, yourself, and your community