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You Would Give Me Kiss If I Were On Soccer Team

This song is by Gröûp X and appears on the album 40 Oz. Slushie (1999) and on the album Stepping On The Crowtche Owf Your Americain Presidaint (2000).

Soccer, Soccer, Soccer... (22x)
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team
Soccer, Soccer, Soccer... (16x)

Yes, You would give me kiss if I were on the soccer team,
I know this because you are girlfriend of Rasheem.
If I had a jersey with my number on the back,
Then you would be my girlfriend and you would give me smack.
When I'd dial a telephone call you would call me back,
You would take me for a ride in your Cadillac.
You would give me milk, to go with my Apple Jack,
But you don't. This hurt Hashmere like a thumb tack.
I play chess, but you don't care,
Still like soccer player with his very long hair.
And I ask for half a candy-cane you would not share,
This made me mad like a big grizzly bear!
Every time I try out for team I get chopped,
Coach says to me, Hashmeer you need to stop.
No I do not care, and I keep on trying because I think
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team.

Soccer, Soccer, Soccer... (9x)
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team.
Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
Soccer, Soccer, Soccer... (9x)
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team.
Know what I mean? Know what I mean?

I like to paint, and I like to draw.
But that doesn't mean I can kick a soccer ball.
You don't even say hi when you see me in the hall.
Tried to give you kiss but you push me and I fall.
If I wore the Umbros and a pair of cleats,
Then you would want to do a sex on the bed sheets.
Then we would go out and get a bite to eat.
We would have a sandwich with lettuce and meat.
Then we'd go back home and watch Jerry Letterman.
I know you like Rasheem but Hashmeres the better man.
He might be good at soccer but I think he's too mean.
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team!

Soccer, Soccer, Soccer... (9x)
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team.
Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
Soccer, Soccer, Soccer... (9x)
You would give me kiss if I were on soccer team.
Know what I mean? Know what I mean?

For two weeks I practice night and day,
But I'm still not good enough for the portion that we play.
Guess what I discover while I'm at the Jiffy Lube?
Hashmere is very good at Rubik's Cube.
I can separate white and red from the green,
I will chop a pony (and slightly give you teen????)
And yes, I am better at the Rubik's Cube than James Dean,
And I am better at the Rubik's Cube than Charlie Sheen.
If my pants be dirty I wash them and they're clean.
Could have been my queen,
I could have been your king,
But now all women want to date this mean machine.
I don't need you bitch, I'm on the Rubik's Cube team!

Rubik's, Rubik's, Rubik's... (9x)
I don't need you and I don't need your soccer team
'Cause now bitch I'm on the Rubik's Cube team.
Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
Rubik's, Rubik's, Rubik's... (9x)
I don't need you bitch or your soccer team
Know what I mean? Know what I mean?