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Terrible Operation Blues

This song is by Georgia Tom and Jane Lucas and appears on the compilation Rude Dudes (2003).

Bring in the next patient, nurse

Get up on this table, pull off that gown
Raise up that right leg, let that left one down
Pull off them stockings, that silk underwear
The doctor's got to cut you, mama, don't know where

You got two or three tumors, shaped like a cube
Two or three leaks in your inner tube
Bring on that ether, bring on that gas
The doctor's got to cut you, mama, yas, yas, yas
The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do

Oh doctor, can I have a glass of water?

Oh, not now

Oh doctor, I'm so sick!

Sh, be quiet, doctor ain't gonna hurt you

Oh, what you gonna do with that long knife?

Oh, that's just the doctor's tools

Oh doctor, what you gon' do with that saw?

Oh, we take off legs with that, that's all

Ooh!

Be quiet, now, just a moment
There you are, the doctor's through!

Oh doctor, what did you take out of me?
Oh, just a minute, I'll tell you, dear

Four monkey wrenches, two horse-shay
Pair of old britches and a bale of hay
Your ribs were kinda loosened, they moved about
If I hadn't sewed you up, everything woulda fell out

I put in new tubes, tightened up the exhaust
Went into your hood and cleaned your spark plugs off
Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard
From now on you'll be careful with them there connection rods

All right, doctor!

The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do

Gee, doctor, but I feel better

That so?

Yes, I feel kinda like I wanna do a little messin' 'round

Fine, go ahead!

Ooh, my my my my

That's the way patients do that come to this doctor, they don't die

Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard
From now on you'll be careful with them there connection rods

All right, doctor!

The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do