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​I Would Never (Have Sex With You)

This song is by Garfunkel and Oates and appears on the album Music Songs (2009) and on the album Slippery When Moist (2012).

Remember the time we went out to dinner
You and I alone
We ate some French fries
Let's do it again

Remember the time we went to the movies
Laughed so hard we cried
And then we ate more French fries
Let's do it again

'Cause I really like you as a friend
But there are things I can't pretend
Know I could love you till the end
But there is just one problem

I would never have sex with you
Believe me you'd know it if I wanted to
I already would have shown my boobs to you
But that will never happen

Remember the time we stayed up all night talking
Let our secrets out
Until the sunshine
Let's do it again

Remember the time we went to Dave and Buster's
Dance Dance Revolutioned
Till we won a keychain
Let's do it again

This shouldn't come as a surprise
You should've seen it in my eyes
I kinda like some other guys
But there's a bigger problem

I would never have sex with you
Believe me you'd know it if I wanted to
I already would have gone down on you
But that will never happen

No amount of alcohol
Could change my mind at all
Our lips will never touch
So kiss that thought goodbye

I would never have sex with you
Believe me you'd know it if I wanted to
I already would have held hands with you
But that will never happen