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S-100 Bus

This song is by Frank Hayes and appears on the compilation Vince Emery Presents the Funniest Computer Songs (1989).

When I was young, my friends all worked like fools to get their share
Of an S-100 system, like an Imsai or Altair
Well the S-100's still around, I'm very glad to say
But friends, I'm here to tell you that it's not the same today

And it's cheer up, my lads, let your hearts never fuss
When you're integrating systems for the S-100 bus

To tell the truth, the source of all our troubles seems to be
A committee on computers of the I of triple E
They settled on a standard spec, 696 by name
Now everything is standardized, but nothing works the same

They say the 80 boards are way too slow - it's enough to give you fits
If the 09 isn't fast enough, then go to 16 bits
68 and z8000 and an 86 as well
And code compatibility goes straight to bloody hell

Then add a board for the modem line and one for every port
And a printer board and a keyboard board, and as a last resort
For every problem we will add a board that has the cure
It's not too damned efficient, but it's a mother, that's for sure

And when it's all assembled there's computer to your choler
It's nice to have a micro but a mainframe would be smaller
And when they turn the power on, it's sure to dim the lamps
With plus or minus sixteen volts and fourteen hundred amps