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​Autonomy

This song is by For Everest and appears on the album We Are At Home In The Body (2016).

We don't talk anymore
Because you say I don't sound like myself on the phone
Is it bad that I can't tell which feels worse?

If the cigarettes don't cloud your lungs and rot your teeth
And the drugs don't eat your heart and slur your speech
If you make it home tonight without killing anyone else
I hope you find a way to hurt yourself

At least when you're too drunk to drive and trying to leave
I know you're not coming home to me
But I wonder what I'll feel when I see your name on TV
I wonder which of us will feel more relieved?

Are you choking back broken glass?
Because I'm chugging gasoline
Guilt is all that stops you from leaving completely
But the engine's on fire and I'm stuck inside
I said I was fine and I lied