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Cheap Flights

This song is by Fascinating Aïda and appears…

Dillie
We received an invitation in the post one Monday morn'
To attend our cousin's wedding in the town where we were born
The do was back in Kerry; so wishing to be frugal
We trawled the 'net to find some decent travel deals on Google

Cheap flights, cheap flights, cheap as they can be
Bedad we found an airline selling flights for 50p
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai)

Well we clicked on to the website and were mightily surprised
To find the actual cost wasn't quite as advertised
We'd forgotten airport taxes, had also to be billed
But a bargain is a bargain and begorrah we were thrilled

Cheap flights, cheap flights, Stansted to Tralee
It isn't every airline offers flights for 50p
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (x3))

Liza
After studying the website we decided it was best
To pay priority boarding so that we'd sit three abreast
(Three abreast, that's the best)
And of course we'd all have luggage, so that's an extra cost
And then we paid insurance in case our cases might get lost

Our cheap flights, cheap flights, it's obvious to see
There must be extra charges when the flights are 50p
(Minya, minya, minya, key change)

Dillie
At last the flight was booked, with all of the additions
We'd read the reams of smallprint, of terms and conditions
And then picked up the charge for using VISA which was drastic
'Cause how the feck are you supposed to pay if not with fecking plastic?

Cheap flights, cheap flights, we paid the fecking fee
Because by now we were committed to the flights for 50p
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (3))
(Someone's being diddled and it's us, so it is)

(*Ochone, ochone, ah...)
Now I don't know if you've tried locatin' Stansted on a map
But checking in at 5am is a fecking load of crap
Yis're banjaxed if you try to catch a train or underground
So a taxi to the arse in the world was more than 100 pounds

Cheap flights, cheap flights, we should have gone by sea
There's no such fecking thing as a fecking flight for 50p
(Feckity feckity feckity feckity feck, feck, feck (x2))

Then at last we reached the airport where we had to pay a fine
The fecking feckers charged us 'cause we hadn't checked in online
And finally aboard the flight there's an extra class of tax
'Cause the fecking fecking feckers fecking charge to use the jacks

Cheap flights, cheap flights, I think you must agree
That only fecking gobshites think there's flights for 50p
(Feck, shite, feck, shite, feck, shite, arse)
(Feck, shite, shite, feck, feck, shite, arse)
(Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feck)
(Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckty Feck)
(Feck the shagging "cheap flights" bastards)
(Feck the shagging, feck the shagging, feck the shagging bastards)

Sad verse
Well finally we landed and tried to shuffle up the aisle
But the steward sent us down to the back with never a hint of a smile
And as we heard his annoucement our hearts gave a terrible thump
If you haven't prepaid to use the steps you'll have to feckin jump

Cheap flights, cheap flights you're harking on to me
You're an eejit (idiot) if you think a fecking flight is 50p
FECK

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