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​The Monster Montage

This song is by Edward Kleban & Marvin Hamlisch.

Judy:
And it was the first time I'd ever
Seen a dead body
But then when I was fifteen
The most terrible thing happened
The ted mack amateur hour held auditions in st. Louis
And I didn't hear about it till after they'd gone
And I nearly killed myself

Nearly killed myself
I tried to walk in front of a speeding streetcar
And I remember noticing boys for the first time

Spoken: anyway, I remember practising kissing with leslie. She was my best girl friend. Did any of you ever practice kissing with another girl
So that when the time came you'd know how to?

No? Oh my god

Kristine:
Judy?

Judy:
Did you, girl?

Kristine:
Yeah. But just a couple of times

Sheila:
Oh, count me in

Judy:
Thank god!
Anyway, I do remember

Greg:
The worst thing in school was every time the teacher called on me
I'd be hard, I'd be hard
Really, I'd have to lean up against the desk like this. And the teacher would say:
"Stand up straight."
"I can't, I have a pain in my side."
"Stand up straight."
Or walking down the hall, you'd have to walk like this
With all your books staked up in front of you

Mike:
Yeah, I thought it was only me. I thought I was a sex maniac

Connie and Maggie:
You are!

Bobby:
I did too. I mean, it didn't go down for three years

Greg:
And the bus, the bus was the worst. I'd just look at a bus and
Bingo
And then there was the time I was making out in the back seat with sally ketchum. We were necking and I was feeling her boobs, and feeling her boobs and after about an hour or so she said
"Ooh! Don't you want to feel anything else?"
And I suddenly thought to myself: "no, I don't."

Zach:
Did that come as a surprise to you?

Greg:
Spoken:i guess, yeah. It was probably the first time I realised I was a homosexual and I got so depressed because I thought being gay meant being a bum all the rest of my life and I said:
"Gee, I'll never get to wear nice clothes..."
And I was really into clothes, I had this pair of powder blue and pink gabardine pants

Goodbye twelve
Goodbye thirteen
Hello la-a-a-ove

Al:
Early to bed
Early to rise
Your broad goes out with other guys

Cassie:
A diaphragm, a diaphragm
I thought a diaphragm was up here
Where you breathe

Don:
I bought a car
I bought my first car

Mike:
Padiddle

Changes, oh
Down below
Up a

Mark:
Ev'ry girl I know has lockjaw of the legs

Connie:
You're not leaving this house till your twenty-one

Kristine:
The ugliest boy asked me to the prom, I stayed home

Maggie:
Life is an ashtray

Al:
Shit, made it through high school without growing tits

... Doubt
To break out
It's a mess
Time to grow
Time to go
A-do

Richie:
My trouble is wine, women and song
I can't get any of 'em

Mike:
Your brother's going to medical school, and you're dropping out to be a chorus boy. Nothing!

Bebe:
Steve mcqueen out
Nureyev in!

Diana:
You gotta know somebody to be somebody

Maggie:
Gra - du - a - tion!

Sheila:
You run around with are bums

Al:
I got nancy's picture, annabelle's locket
Cynthia's ring and lucy's pants
Head-on collision!
Eddie got killed

Richie:
Let's dance, let's dance

Paul:
What am I gonna say when he calls on me?

Judy (and Vicki offstage):
My only adolescence, my only adolescence
My only adolescence

Judy, Kristine, and Vicki:
My only adolescence

Diana and Bebe (and Lois offstage):
Where did it go? It was so
Where did it go? It was so

Val, Diana, Bebe, and Lois:
Where did it go? It was so
Where did it go? It was so

Greg, Bobby, and Mike:
Freshmore, sophomore, junior, senior
Freshmore, sophomore, junior, senior

Sheila, Maggie, Don (and Tricia offstage):
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

All:
Suddenly I'm seventeen and
Suddenly I'm seventeen and
Suddenly I'm seventeen and
Suddenly,

There's a lot
I am not
Certain of

Goodbye twelve
Goodbye thirteen
Hello

Richie:
Gimme the ball
Gimme the ball
Gimme the ball. Yeah!

Gimme the ball
Gimme the ball
Gimme the ball. Yeah!

I was always runnin' around shoutin'
"Gimme the ball
Gimme the ball
Gimme the ball. Yeah"

I was so enthusiastic
I was in ev'rything
The yearbook is filled with my pictures
And I was lucky 'cause I got
A scholarship to college
A scholarship to college!
So I went.

So he went

Richie:
Yes, I went

Yes, he went

Richie:
So I'm gonna be this kindergarten teacher
Imagine me this kindergarten teacher? And I thought
Shit

Shit, richie

Richie:
Shit

Shit, richie

Richie:
What are you gonna be?

Shit, richie, shit, richie

Richie:
When you get shoved outta here

Shit, richie, shit, richie

Richie:
Honey, ain't nobody gonna be standin' there

Shit, richie, shit, richie

Richie:
With no scholarship to life

Shit, richie, shit, richie

Richie:
And I was scared

Shit, richie

Richie:
Scared

Shit, richie

Richie:
Scared!

Shit, richie

Richie:
Scared!

Shit, richie

Girls:
My braces gone

Boys:
My pimples gone

All:
My childhood gone
Goodbye
Goodbye twelve
Goodbye thirteen
Goodbye fourteen
Goodbye fifteen
Goodbye sixteen
Goodbye seventeen
Hello love

Go to it
Go to it
Go to it
Go to it
Go to it
Go to it

Boys:
And now life really begins

Girls:
Go to it

Boys:
And now life really begins

Girls:
Go to it

Boys:
And now life really begins

Girls:
Go to it

Boys:
And now life really begins

Girls:
Go to it

All:
Go to it

Music by:

Marvin Hamlisch Wikipedia16

Lyrics by:

Edward Kleban Wikipedia16