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​The New James Bond

This song is by Eddie From Ohio and appears on the album Big Noise (1997).

We met in the casino
That's when I overheard
Him ordered a martini
He wanted shaken and not stirred

I nestled up behind him
His name I wish to know
He said his name was "Bond, James Bond"
That's when I said, "Oh"

We shared a game of blackjack
And James had twenty-one
But the house had only twenty
I guess that means he won

He's the New James Bond
And I'm his bottle blond
I'm one of seven in his harem
And he really turns me on
He has a license to kill
And permission to love
Oh, my new James Bond
You're who I'm thinking of

My old boyfriend drove a Nissan
He bought used in '83
But James has got a Beemer
And it can go under the sea

When he takes me to the drive-through
And says that I should treat
And then he takes my French fries
And ejects me from my seat

He said he's going on a mission
And that he can't be late
And he doesn't need the cargo
And I'm only extra weight

For him, I would be kidnapped
Just to earn my love's respect
For him, I'd take a bullet
And my James would not object

My old boyfriend had mounted
An enormous poker debt
But not my O-O-7
For he's never lost a bet

When we're at the roulette table
He says to go powder my face
And when I come back from the bathroom
There's a new girl in my place

He says it's strictly business
And they've own had sex twice
Then he tells me I should get lost
But he says it very nice