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​Captain Speakin'

This song is by Diamond Shell and appears on the album The Grand Imperial Diamond Shell (1991).

(Mary Brown)
Hello, this is Mary Brown and I'm your sterwardess
Thanks for flying B.M.P. Airlines
Fasten your seatbelts to prepare for takeoff
And now, your captain

(Diamond Shell)
Now all aboard, just prepare yourself
For a dangerous ride, so please fastern your seatbelts
All systems go, turbos kicked on
Countdown - three two one, we're gone
As I got the shift, the pedal's down to the floor
We can circle the earth, in a minute or more
So please be my guest to let yo' heads rest
And the seat reclines like a streamlined mattress
Upon takeoff, please remain in your seats
'Cause we'll be at the altitude of eighty-thousand feet
Now, one more rule durin launchtime
Yo please observe the no smokin' signs
We'll hit warp speed, travel fast through a time port
Then, the time is right so we split like divorce court
Sit back, max and relax and stay strapped
And huh, over and out this is your captain
This is your captain speakin'

(Mary Brown)
We are now flying at an altitude of eighty-thousand feet
We may be facing a little turbulence
So keep your seatbelts fastened
And let Diamond Shell, rock on

(Diamond Shell)
It's a perfect night, the stars are just right
And at this height, I just love bein in flight
And I just might, take you to another dimension zone
So far, that you could never get home
So get on board, as we prepare to leave the dock
Now strap in, as we break out like the chicken pox
Grab hold of somethin' stable, and don't let go
Because the G force will pulls ya down to the floor
You're intrigued by the smooth slow flow of a ship so slow
That's still swift and I know that you know
There's no need to try to be what you're not G
That's called a wannabe, so take advice from me
We spent a long time comin', and we travelled a far
Great distance even greater than those between a star
Sit back, max and relax and stay strapped
And huh, over and out this is your captain
This is your captain speakin'

(Mary Brown)
We hope you're enjoying your flight
We will be serving refreshments
If you have any questions, please ask me, Mary Brown
Or your co-pilot, DJ D.O.C.

(Diamond Shell)
The last (??) of flight, the landing gear's being lit down
Return to your seats, strap in, sit yourself down
No cigars no cigarettes, no smoke or nothin' else
If somethin' happens, you might choke yourself
Please return your seats to the position of upright
And prepare for somethin' smooth, 'cause I'm right
And, the ink from the pen is like a drug
Except it's pushed by me, not some narcotic dealin' thug
So yo, that makes me the captain of your flight
The pusher the provider rap is legal so it's all right
And therefore, no cops play me close or scout me
And plus there's no wack TV commercials about me
Take as much as you want, you could never O.D.
On the D to the I to the A, M-N-O-D
The average I'm not, I'm five steps above that
Plus what I'm sellin, don't give bad flashbacks
Bad trips is not included just a pumpin good time
Some scratches a beat, and a Diamond Shell rhyme
Plus my rhyme takes you higher than that crack you buy
So take flight with the Captain and give Shell a try
And if you fiend for a hit, yo don't steal from a friend
Just buy the tape and just play it again
This is your captain

(Mary Brown)
Our flight has now ended
We thank you for choosing B.M.P. Airlines
And remember, on your next flight
Let Diamond Shell rock on... rock on... rock on... [echoes]