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​The Stick of Truth

This song is by Dan Bull and appears on the album Generation Gaming V (2015).

Original video
"A cup of Fairy Ale isn't much if not accompanied
By some bardic poems and songs"


For a thousand years, the battle has been waged
But there's strange tidings, the tides of war are sure to change
We live in sinister times, there's an imminent fight
Bigger than Kyle's mom, have you seen her behind?
A hero will rise, he needs to be wise
And Jews can't be saviours, so it's best he isn't circumcised
There's whisperings around these parts of a new kid
There's a house on Fuller Street that they say he moved in
I hear tell he's a muteling, he doesn't speak much
It has nothing to do with the game's pre-release budget
We need a saviour greater than the Dragonborn
Let me consult my magic tome stashed away within this stack of porn
There's Cartman, Grand Wizard ruling Kupa Keep
Where you can barter, buy some armour or just find some food to eat
This is the tent in which we kept the Stick of Truth but see
Clyde had one job, and he messed it up quite stupidly
And so now, new kid, it's up to you to seek
And return the Stick to its place to break the losing streak
Let us proceed in this hour of darkness
With the courage of dragons and the power of fart mist
Through towers and arches, we scour the territories
Whether showers or fire pits, disembowel our enemies
The sourest hardships will never defeat our people
We keep releasing lethal farts that are without equal
An ancient secret: the Nagasaki Fart
Leave you with a bleeding nose and looking like you party hard
With such an epic quest, you need a band of merry men
To dig up buried treasure chests and see you to the very end
Butters is a Paladin, Stan's a Warrior with A.D.
Kenny is a Princess, don't ask why, that's how he's rolling lately
And Kyle finally acknowledges his true self
As he transmutes into the form of a High Jew Elf

So go forth now, blow the war horn
I will stay and guard the Keep and maybe look at more porn
Use your power shrewdly or never see your enemy fall
Because one does not simply fart on anyone's balls
Battle Underpants Gnomes, Goblins and Vampire Kids
The town relies on you to undo that which has been did
In you we trust, I've prophesied your destiny
Put an end to evil in the nuts like a vasectomy