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The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot

This song is by Dan Bull and appears on the album Generation Gaming V (2015).

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It's The Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Going face to face with the best of the best
In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

Look, I was never a chap to simply select between defend and attack
So if anyone asks for trouble, I'm going to be doubly sending them back
The throne is mine, I'm ending any pretender to that
I'm sensing a lack of courage such that you won't even reach the end of the track
I've been training at dawn, every day to be ready for the Great Big Battle
Evading traps all day while I'm raiding castles
And I'm aiming at fools with such deviousness
That it's even leaving mages baffled
Debasers, Crabs or gelatinous walls, I'm hacking them all
Jabbing and brawling, having a ball
And sending them packing their bags in the hall
If Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Then I probably hit him

It's The Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Going face to face with the best of the best
In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

(Pay attention!)

I'm raiding your mates, and taking everything that they bought
I fought them in their forts, blood sport's the way it's paid for
And I'm a great sport, wielding a greatsword
Treat your face like I'm walloping a baseball
I drop the Painhammer, like my surname
And I certainly know to make the most of my fame
Man, I treat merchandising opportunities as prudently
As a morbidly obese Beastman would treat the food he eats
I'm a greedy bugger, me and my money, we need each other
I'm bringing enough bling to sting the vision of Stevie Wonder
I'm applying oceans, of potions like lotion
Till I'm not even trying, I'm just going through the motions

It's The Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Going face to face with the best of the best
In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

The sight of my castle's really something in the sky
Your is as useless as a Cyclops with something in its eye
And in particular, a chicken as vicious as this is ridiculous
I think an efficient and fitting prescription is if we could give them barbiturates
I'm clad in heavy armour, you're dressed like a belly dancer
Your smelly archers made me catch my breath, Kelly Clarkson
I lunge a lot at Hungerbots and snotty Snottinghams
And any funds they drop, well I'll probably pocket them
I poke my sword at the Terroraptor Overlord
Quick, grab the stash, and throw ourselves overboard
It's the only life I know, it's how I do things
In Opulencia you get rich or die looting

It's The Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Going face to face with the best of the best
In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

It's The Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Going face to face with the best of the best
In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?
Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

Egads, it just keeps getting better