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13 Years

This song is by Colorfinger and appears on the album Deep in the Heart of the Beast in the Sun (1990).

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Woke up sweating in the sun
Sprawled across my big brother's grave
Shaking and drunk with sleep I crawled to my feet
And walked up into the shade
Of a young elm tree that must have been planted since the last we came
Vicki, my mom and me cleaned the dirt from the plaque that says his name

Walking to my girlfriends car
It came back down on me
Yeah, I guess I fell to my knees
To keep from falling face-first into the dream
The vision that had had me twisting out under the afternoon sky
I didn't know it then but it was 13 years to the day he died

He held his hand in me
Like brothers we walked, through the colorless world of an alcohol dream
I talked for hours, trying to break through the silence that he held over me
Then he started away, turned his head
Keep it up so you can die like me
Keep it up so you can die like me

Ever since my brother OD'd, I have drifted all over from town to town to town
Every place I go it's always the same
I keep doing junk, I keep going down
My mama got religion and my sisters gave up

Man, I just gave up too
I just died inside
Don't wanna die like George
Don't wanna die like George
Everybody says there's things to see
Everybody's pointing their fingers at me

I woke up driving after another blackout from another bad drug
I can't shake this hell that I made for myself
For every other life I touch
I see my sister's son walk the line I walked, he's only sixteen
If he don't learn from my mistakes he's gonna waste away
He's gonna die like me
He's gonna die like me

He's gonna die like me
He's gonna die like me
He's gonna die like me
He's gonna die like me

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