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​I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight

This song is by Cledus T. Judd and appears on the album Bipolar And Proud (2004).

Well me and Bobby Ray was goin' down to a pickup joint just outside of town
You know a metting market, where you pick up chicks
Well knowing Bobby Ray as I do, He'll be goin' home alone before the night is through
He's just too darn picky, he's always wantin' to score big
Well I'm not leavin' here alone, I'm gonna compromise, early on
Yeah, I'm goin' ugly early tonight
She may not be a beauty queen but that's all right
I'm not waitin' round for one that looks good in the light
I'm goin' ugly early tonight
So Bobby I says
Please don't stare, but check them two out standin' over there
He says you mean the good lookin' blonde and the one with the big zits?
I says, Yeah that's right and here's my plan, I'm not goin' for Miss Scandinavian, Her chubby lil friend... well that's my pick
You can drink them cute but not skinny
You get too picky, you ain't gettin' any
So I'm goin' ugly early tonight
She may not be a beauty queen but that's all right
I'm not waitin' round for on who looks good in the light
I'm goin' ugly early tonight
Then all of a sudden to my surprise, the pretty one was givin' me the eye
And I was fixin' to move up from a 2 to a 10
She said, you know I don't live to far from here
I'll get my purse and you pay for them beers
And I was feelin' pretty puffed up till she turned to her friend
I guess she didn't I'd here
Them hurtful words she whispered in little chubby's ear
Yeah I'm goin' ugly early tonight
His friend is better lookin' but I ain't got the time
I'm not waitin' round for one that looks good in the light
She said I'm goin' ugly early tonight
You know she really hurt my pride but way down deep inside
I'm glad she's goin' ugly tonight