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​Oh No

This song is by Christine Lavin and appears on the album Please Don't Make Me Too Happy (1995).

Oh no
I'm looking for my glasses again
I put them down
I turned around and then
I could not find them
Now I'm doing my best Patty Duke impression
(The Miracle Worker)
Stumbling all over the place
What do I have to do to teach myself a lesson
Fall flat on my face?

Oh no
I'm looking for my car keys again
I put them down
I turned around and then
I could not find them

I can't find them 'cause I can't see
'Cause I can't find my glasses, woe is me
I can't drive my car, I can't read
But I can order a pizza and watch TV

Oh no
Where is that remote control
It's got to be here
I saw if five minutes ago
But can I find it? No

But the doorbell rings, it's the pizza guy
Good thing I don't need my glasses to eat pizza pie
He tells me it's seven dollars, I say one minute
My purse has all my money in it

Oh no
Now I'm looking for my purse
Just when things were getting better
They've taken a turn for the worse
This is a curse

I explain my situation
How I can't see
Why is the pizza man now laughing at me
I'm searching round the table
Under the bed
Why is he pointing toward the top of my head?

(Lady!)
Here they are
What is that there on the floor
Yes, it's my purse
It's holding my car keys and there's
The remote control behind the door

Now I can eat pizza and watch the news
Chill out lose these annoying blues
But first there's one phone call
I need to return
Where's my phone book?
When will I learn?

Oh no
I'm looking for my phone book again...

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