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Good Thing SHE Can't Read My Mind: A Dude's Eye View

This song is by Christine Lavin and appears on the album Cold Pizza For Breakfast (2009).

A dude's-eye view

I am at a shopping mall
I do not like shopping malls
But she loves shopping malls
And I love her
Each time she stops to look at shoes
I'm reacquainted with the blues
By the groans I hear
There are men here
Who I think concur

I wanted to stay home today
To watch the Green Bay Packers play
A monumental pigskin contest
Of the manly kind
Instead I'm at a shopping mall
I can't stand shopping malls
It's a good thing she can't read my mind

Sure I'll hold your purse while you try that on
No, I don't think it makes you look f ...

I am at a craft fair
I do not like craft fairs
But she loves craft fairs
And I love her
There's topiary, origami
Face painting, scrapbooking
And her favorite ...
Dreamcatchers!
What the hell's a dreamcatcher?
What the hell is decoupage?
Rug hooking?
Now that's something I might get behind
I can't stand craft fairs
I am at a craft fair
It's a good thing she can't read my mind

Learn to make my own soap?
How did you know that's been my dream?

I am not complaining I'm just making observations
Expanding your horizons is a sign of sophistication
I'm in a tai chi class every Sunday morning
Though sometimes thoughts of boxing
Overcome me without warning

I am at a chick flick
I do not like chick flicks
But she loves chick flicks
And I love her
Uh-oh it's a double bill
Now I'm really feeling ill
It's "Beaches" followed by "The Way We Were"

Now I'm in an awful mood
Plus I'm eating awful food
When all I wanted was to kick back and unwind
I can't stand chick flicks
I'm gonna watch two chick flicks
It's a good thing she can't read my mind

Tomorrow night is "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Terms Of Endearment"?
Oh ... pinch me ...

So if you see me at a chick flick
See me in a craft booth
See me at a shopping mall wallowing in despair
Don't feel sorry for me
I must be in love
Why in the hell else would I be there?

Before I met her life was dull
I never took any chances
Now I leap at every opportunity I find
I do not like chick flicks
I don't like craft fairs can't stand shopping
But maybe I will in time
Maybe I will in time

Join your book club?
Oh sure, I'd love to ...