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​If I Was A Jedi

This song is by Chris Duke And The Royals and appears on the album Mega Awesome Kapow (2009).

If I was a Jedi,
My name would be Duke Skywalker
And while I couldn't fly,
I'd move inanimate objects with my mind power
If I were a famous cricket guy,
My name would be Sachin Ten-Dekers
My team, my family,
We would excel in the death overs

And I would rather be,
And of them than me
The puns in my last name are a bit of fun,
But by no means a necessity

If I was a melon,
There's no way you'd throw away the Ceeds
Recommend planting them,
And cultivating me as a new species
And then audio medium,
Must definitely by a Cee Dee
Too small for a record,
But not compressed enough for an mp3

And I would rather be,
And of them than me
The puns in my last name are a bit of fun,
But by no means a necessity

If I were a movie or a pub,
Dukes of Hazard, Dukes of Windsor
If I were a subway sub,
I'd be less than a six inch
If I were a party drug,
I'd simply be known as 'D'
But that's my father's nickname,
I won't take it,
He might get shitty