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The Young Offender's Mum

This song is by Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine and appears on the album Worry Bomb (1995) and on the compilation You Fat Bastard (2007).

(Young must receive a short sharp ...)

I'd like to teach the world to sing
And put an end to suffering if I could.
With the dedicated heart and soul
Of Britains greatest rock 'n' roll robin hood.
But you're eyes are dim you cannot see
Your middle name is misery.
Do you like to teach the world to sing
You're gonna get your head kicked in.

Don't lose your temper shopping centre son.
Just remember young offenders mum.

All gods children snatch a handbag
Spot the ball and mash the grandad
Choose the pictures on the news
Count the stitches on the bruise
Lock your sons uo with your daughters
Stay at home don't drink the water
Intercept or interfere and just blame the parents

Don't lose your temper shopping centre son.
Just remember young offenders mum.

Down the front of the church
For the second time in life loves hurts.
This time there's no buttons and bows
She's wearing non fast-coloured clothes.
Service seems to last for hours
No one wants to catch the flowers.
On the shoulder of an older brother
The young offenders mother.

Don't lose your temper shopping centre son.
Just remember young offenders mum.

Young offenders mum.
The Young Offenders mum x5