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The Ballad Of The Costa Concordia

This song is by Car Seat Headrest and appears on the album Teens of Denial (2016).

I used to like the mornings
I'd survived another night
I'd walk to breakfast through the garden
See the flowers stretching in the sunlight

Now I wake up in the mornings
And all the kindness is drained out of me
I spend hours just wincing
And trying to regain some sense of peace

If only I could sustain my anger
Feel it grow stronger and stronger
It sharpens to a point and sheds my skin
Shakes off the weight of my sins
And takes me to heaven

I stay up late every night
Out of some general protest
But with no one to tell you to come to bed
It's not really a contest

Maybe you think
I'll learn from my mistake
But not this time
It's just gonna break me

If only I could sustain my anger
Feel it grow stronger and stronger
It sharpens to a point and sheds my skin
Shakes off the weight of my sins
And takes me to heaven

And if I've lost you for good
Could it have been any other way?
Was the water filling up for years
Or did I wreck it all in a day?

I'm going to bed now
I've sunk into my sorrows
And it'll take three hundred million dollars
To get me up tomorrow

I won't go down with this shit
I will put my hands up and surrender
There will be no more flags above my door
I have lost, and always will be

It was an expensive mistake
It was an expensive mistake
My horse broke his back to get me here
I have his blood on my hands for no reason
But what was I supposed to do?
How was I supposed to know how to use a tube amp?
How was I supposed to know how to drive a van?
How was I supposed to know how to ride a bike without hurting myself?
How was I supposed to know how to make dinner for myself?
How was I supposed to know how to hold a job?
How was I supposed to remember to grab my backpack
After I set it down to play basketball?
How was I supposed to know how to not get drunk every
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and - why not - Sunday?
How was I supposed to know how steer this ship?
How the hell was I supposed to steer this ship?
It was an expensive mistake
You can't say you're sorry and it's over
I was given a body that is falling apart
My house is falling apart
And I was given a mind that can't control itself
And I was given a ship that can't steer itself
And what about the pain I'm in right now?
And what about a vacation?
And what about a vacation to feel good?
My horse broke his back and left me here
How was I supposed to know?
And God won't forgive me
And you won't forgive me
Not unless I open up my heart
And how am I supposed to do that
When I go to this same room every night
And sleep in the same bed every night?
The same fucking bed
Red comforter with the white stripes
And the yellow ceiling light makes me feel like I'm dying
This sea is too familiar
How many nights have I drowned here?
How many times have I drowned?

I give up

Let us take you back to where we came in
We were united, an undivided nation
We got divided, it was something inside us
And it was not us

We were so naive, we were just like animals
Told what to believe by the beasts who took control
We wanted control too, but that was normal

'Cause our life was one of survival
The decisions we've made, if you can call it deciding
With your life on the line, it'd be social suicide to change your mind

So we got mad and we split the scene
Now we download all of our shit for free
It's the new economy, we have nothing to offer and we sleep on trash

I give up

Let us take you back to where you came in
A man clinging to the cliff of revelation
So scared of what he would find, he started crying
"It was not me"

Stopped at the borderline they stripped his disguise
So he read a book that won a Pulitzer prize
It was about death
It didn't help
He saw himself in it

And he was disturbed at the conclusions it led to
But he couldn't say what because the author was dead too
And so though he made fun of us, he has now become one of us

I give up
I give up
I give up
I give up
I give up

And you wake up trembling
From a dream where I swam into the river
I reach out and hold you in my arms
I love you, I love you, I love you