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​20-Odd-Years

This song is by Candice Jarrett.

I ask for an abundance of things
But I always seem to get
Skipped over.
I didn't surround myself with
Things that made me happy...
They just didn't make me sad.
I looked around to see the things
In my life -

I was in love with so many of them
You see... but NONE of them were me...

It's been 20-odd years since I've seen the sunrise.
It's been 20-odd years since I felt I was alive.
And I've never spent one day outside my mind.
It's been 20-odd years and I've never lived one day in my whole life.

How could you ever think I could look up to you?
For all those things that you said and you did... the things you were never man enough to do.
And I look down to see the feet that crushed my dreams.

Then I begin to see, those feet belong to me...

I have all these people in my life tellin' me "You can't be" ... but every song seems to be about me in everything I think and everything I dream and everything that NEEDS to be. I look up to see my people who need me and I need them so bad...

I'd say I just wanna live one day...

I've spent 20-odd years of my life never living a day alive