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Bob Rivers:What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells? Lyrics

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Jingle Bells

This song is by Bob Rivers.

(Bob Rivers:)
Yo, yo

(Girl as Dina Rae:)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.

(Bob Rivers as Eminem:)
Is this a white Christmas? Hell no, my man!
I'm leaving blood in the snow and smacking fat men
You mean Santa, that boy's a bitch
He caught my mom 'Christmas Eve and tried to give her kiss
Fo' real he's no joke, the guy don't play
He tried to ride way more than a one-horse-sleigh
Laughing all the way, but he's not laughing today
Jingle more than his bells, even the elves with pay
COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONER!
We'll be snacking on deer, eatin' Blitzen and Donner
Not a question of when, not even a maybe
Have a drunk Ms. Clause say "They're jinglin', Baby!"
Give a new meaning to 'ho, ho, ho'
Shake that ass girl, bumpin' booty in the snow
So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll
We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you the coal

(Girl as Dina Rae:)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.

(Bob Rivers as Eminem:)
Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend
Grab Rudolph's horns, see how far they bend
When the snow turns red, his ass gets sent
Back out to the woods with his faggy elf friend
Oh, Santa Claus wouldn't list me as nice
In fact, he'll have me listed as 'naughty' twice
Not cuz' of the fights, or the Christmas gift heist,
Because of the jizz, I left on his wife
It's time for old nick to move and retire
Or we roast his nuts on a big ass fire
Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that crude
I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude
All the cookies and milk, simply quite sick
I mean, when's the last time you've seen your dick
I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to bitch
But every year I get underwear, socks, and shit

(Girl as Dina Rae:) (Bob Rivers as Eminem:)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.
(yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey
(yo, yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.

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