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This song is by Beat Happening and appears on the 1996 reissue of the album Beat Happening (1985).

I had sex on Christmas
I had sex three times today
Three different women taught be how to be bored
In their own separate, sweet, little ways

I feel like hell on Christmas
And I feel like hell today
I feel like hell, when I wake up I can tell
That I'm never gonna make you stay

Okay, here it goes

I didn't get no presents on Christmas
And I sure didn't get none today
Learned my lesson
Life is one long session of disappointment, heartache, pain


...And despair

Written by:

Calvin Johnson, Heather Lewis, and Bret Lunsford