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​The Balad Of A Lonely Man, With A Chia Pet

This song is by Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy..

Woe is you? No! Woe is me!
For I am the Lonely Man!
I've no wife, I've no life!
For I am the Lonely Man!

There is only one thing
That can take my mind away
It's this sweet little thing
And it makes me feel just great

It's my Chia, my Chia, my little Chia Friend
I have my Chia Pet, and it's here till the end
It's my Chia, my chia, my little Chia Pet
If I want more of him, I just need to make him wet

But still, I am the Lonely Man!
All I eat is lousy t.v. dinners!
I have no more friends, where did they all go?
Oh yeah, that's right, they're with the winners.

I guess it's ok
Because here is my secret life
It's green and it's fuzzy
And it keeps me away from the knife

It's my Chia, my Chia, my little Chia Friend
I have my Chia Pet, and it's here till the end
It's my Chia, my chia, my little Chia Pet
If I want more of him, I just need to make him wet

It's my Chiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
My little Chia Pet!