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​Sandpaper Man, Part 2

This song is by Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy..

ANNOUNCER: Again, we join our hero Sandpaper Man flying high in the sky over a small town, hoping to see nothing but peace...

SANDPAPER MAN: Ah, what a great day! The clean air provided by the nuclear energy plants! The noise pollution of the traffic! Things couldn't be better! I swear I... what!? What is this!? JESUS JEHOVA! Look down there! That cannibalistic bank security guard is yelling for help. I'd better see what's going on.

CANNIBALISTIC BANK SECURITY GUARD: Oh thank my lucky stars, it's you Sandpaper Man!

SANDPAPER MAN: What's seems to be the problem here?

CANNIBALISTIC BANK SECURITY GUARD: Well, it's a bank robbery Sandpaper Man! I tried stoppin' the guy by eatin' him. But he was just too strong. He's a really big guy! I think I'd better call for backup.

SANDPAPER MAN: Nonsense! THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR SANDPAPER MAN!

CRIMINAL: You'll never get met Sandpaper Man, I'll beat you senseless!

SANDPAPER MAN: Ha Ha Ha! No sir, you will do no such thing for I am Sandpaper Man! It's time to Sand you down to size!

CRIMINAL: No! No!

SANDPAPER MAN: Ha Ha Ha... Now then, you don't look so big after getting a good sanding do you?

SANDED CRIMINAL: (in tiny voice) Damn you Sandpaper Man! Damn you!

SANDPAPER MAN: Ha Ha... I'll let you take it from here Mr.Cannibalistic Bank Security Guard!

CANNIBALISTIC BANK SECURITY GUARD: I'll be more than happy to Sandpaper Man! Boy, he's so much smaller now! It's time to chow down! (munch munch munch...) CRIMINAL: No!

SANDPAPER MAN: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Crime has no chance when it gets in the path of Sandpaper Man!

ANNOUNCER: And away flies our hero in search for more crime...