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Automated Negligence

This song is by A.L. Laureate and appears on the album Closed Eyed Insomnia (2011).

July 12,1987
The resurgence of hate brings me into this earth
With a curse
Directed from my father cause to him I was a bother
From the start I was rejected he don't seem to regret it
Moms was beat spat at with hate
Flipped her confidence in men into a distrust in all of them
4 years into this earth barely new this individual
He's what you would call a deadbeat and a criminal
I talk to myself question his decisions
I could always sense he would never pass the outerlimits
Of knowing me giving me love where its supposed to be
Thank god for my mom protecting me from such harm
Damn he couldn't do this for me 2?
Was it his messed up upbringing
Or something more conflicting
Problems of his past got lost in the dash
But rather than go through them he hid his demons in his stash

What's life when your circle around the same thing
Thinking heavy of situations its nonexisting
Inherits without choice
Listened to the lower power
Programming his soul and spirit to be sour
Can't fight it
Naw naw
He's in a crisis
Quantized to the tempo of Satan and his likeness
He don't want me I guess ill never know why
His negligence is live and mortified

All this has led me to be subdued
On a route paved down onto a crushed groove
With both hands on my head I frown and descend
To a place where failure continues to regress
I detest whove I become
Unlike my peers I tend to disagree with me being a good son
I pray my mother forgives me your son doesn't think highly of himself
I'm quiet but really screaming out for help
What's this
Insanity and paranoia
My delusion
Since I left California
At age 23 I could see it
Depression followed me b4 birth it ain't genetically a secret
Now that y'all know
Its shocking to behold
How a dude so nice could think so low
In my defense if there's one thing I could say
Demons stay locked in my brain every second of the day

What's life I circle around the same thing
Thinking heavy of situations its nonexisting
Inherit without choice
Listen to the lower power
Programming my soul and spirit to be sour
Can't fight it
Naw naw
I'm in a crisis
Quantized to the tempo of Satan and his likeness
I don't want it I guess ill never know why
My negligence is live and mortified

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