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​Sports Song

This song is by "Weird Al" Yankovic and appears on the album Mandatory Fun (2014).

Original video
Your sports team is vastly inferior
That simple fact is plainly obvious to see
We're gonna kick your collective posterior
Of course, you realize we're speaking figuratively
Our stats are thoroughly impressive
Our coach really has the Midas touch
Our players are fast and strong and brave
And your guys... eh, not so much

In fact we've played teams across the nation
And you're the worst one we've come across
Try to assimilate that information
And it just might help you cope with your impending loss
Oh, and if somehow we are still failing
To effectively articulate the points at hand
Allow us now to summarize them in a manner
That your feeble brains can understand

We're great and you suck
We're great and you suck
We're great and you suck
You see, there's us... and then there's you - you suck!
We're really, really great
In contrast, you really suck
Okay, full disclosure, we're not that great
But nevertheless... you suck!

Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat
That theory's backed up by empirical evidence
We're gonna grind up your guys into burger meat
Again, of course, we're speaking in the figurative sense
What's the use of even going through the motions
When you know that you're gonna lose anyhow?
So why don't you save us all some time
And give... up... now!
You suck!