"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be someone that enjoys Carpetsh~!"

Something was missing from my house on the floor
I got a man to inspect my house
He said I dont have any Carpet
So I went to my local newsagents
But they dont sell any Carpet
So I went on the Internet!
And purchased some lovely Carpet!

Woooooooah, I've been living in a world without Carpet!
Oh, I~ have been living in a world without a Carpet
You put a car on your pit
And a pit on your knee
And an armpit on your car
And it makes a Carpet!
Woooooooah, I've been living in a world without Carpet!

Now that I have this Carpet my floor is soft
Now that I have this Carpet I don't need a loft
Darth Vader died 'cos there was no
Carpet on the Death Star!
But he would have survived if there was
Carpet on the Death Star!

Woooooooah, I've been living in a world without Carpet!
Oh, I~ have been living in a world without a Carpet
You put a car on your pit
And a pit on your knee
And an armpit on your car
And it makes a Carpet!
Woooooooah, I've been living in a world without Carpet!

"Then one day it was night
And I was walking around at night
And I tripped over and landed on a floorboard and died!
And went to heaven!"

Woooooooah, I've been living in a world without Carpet!
Oh, I~ have been living in a world without Carpet
You put a car on your pit
And a pit on your knee
And an armpit on your car
And it makes a Carpet!
Woooooooah, I've been living in a world without Carpet!