You're sort of famous, a minor celebrity
And so it only makes sense the world would be
Obsessed with every single thing you do

They're running round with their camcorders in the night
They're lurking patiently and hoping that they just might
See something real embarrassing you do

A bad hair day and sweat-stained T-shirt
That's the story that they're gonna feature
With exclusive pics of your flabby behind
You think you're all alone but that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi popping out of nowhere
Cameras in your face and then suddenly
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

Following you when you're walking down the street
And asking stupid questions while you're trying to eat
So you cover your face thinking to yourself
Hey isn't this creepy?

And they're out there praying you'll have a big meltdown
And take them on a little car chase through this whole town
They'll be there with you when you're going to jail
First on the scene for every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite
Seconds later it's up on the website
Get a Vegas wedding, a quickie divorce
And they'll be sneaking in snapping pictures of course

And if they ever catch you picking your nose
Or stumbling down the street on a drunken spree
You're on TMZ

Stalking you just waiting by your front door
Trailing you through airport security
They're with TMZ
They're with TMZ

We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poo!
Is that a baby bump?
I pronounce her guilty of leaving the house while fat!
Look who's drinking coffee!
Everything celebrities do is fascinating!

Oh let me tell you it's
Getting to the point where a famous person can't
Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around so you really shouldn't dare
Go to every club in town if you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time a star decides to
Shave their head or ram their car into a tree
They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes
Later on that night, well I guarantee
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ
Every single celebrity
Knows they're gonna be
There on TMZ